Bait and Switch in Jellybeanland

38th Street Snacks Jelly Beans

I was in the local "fresh foods" grocery last week and found a display of a brand of beans I'd never seen before. Given that the 11-ounce bags were on sale (marked down from $3.99 to $3.00), what was a jellybean fiend to do: ignore them? So I tossed them in my cart, figuring that they must be some sort of gourmet product. The plain bag, simple label, and "designer" price tag all convinced me that I'd be buying some sort of specialty brand when I picked up a pack of 38th Street Snacks Jelly Beans.

These just MIGHT be the Worst-Tasting Jelly Beans Ever

Brach's Funfetti Jelly Beans

Brach's Funfetti Jelly Beans

Remember childhood hallowe'ens when you would eat everything in your bag within the first day... except for your least favorite candy? Maybe they were Necco Wafers. Maybe they were some unholy combination of chocolate and peanut butter. It's a matter of taste after all. I'm here to suggest, though, that if Brach's Funfetti Jelly Beans had been available when I was a kid, they might well have gone uneaten. Forever. Yeah, they taste that nasty...

Does Bigger Mean Better for Starburst?

Starburst Jumbo Jellybeans

Starburst Jumbo Jellybeans

To be honest, I've never been a fan of jumbo jelly beans, probably because most of them I've tried have come from tourist-trap souvenir shops and had the consistency and taste of stale cardboard. I'd rather eat a cheap bag plucked from a truck stop display, if you get my drift. Then again, Starburst jelly beans have been relatively reliable, so I decided that a bag of Original Starburst Jumbo Jellybeans was worth a try. I have to admit, I was pleasantly surprised.

More Heart-Shaped Beans for Valentines Day 2020

Jolly Rancher Jelly Hearts

Although Easter is the epicenter of jelly bean season, Valentine's Day seems to attract the creative minds of candy designers. Is there such a thing? I sure hope so... anyway, I've already commented on the heart-shaped beans made and sold by a couple of companies (Gimbals and Starburst), and this year I came across yet another variety: Jolly Rancher Jelly Hearts.

Unicorn poop for the unicorn lover in your family

Brach's Miniature Unicorn Jelly Beans

Unicorn Jelly Beans

I have it on good authority that unicorns poop candy. My good authority is a six-year-old girl; is there anyone more authoritative?  Whatever the case, Brach’s must’ve heard the same thing: that’s probably why one of their two special jelly bean offerings for this year is Unicorn Jelly Beans. It’s a companion to Dragon Jelly Beans, which are presumably named on the authority of a six-year-old boy. Never mind the sexist notion…

When the dragon breathes...

Brach's Dragon Jelly Beans

Brach's dragon jelly beans

With Easter only a few days away, I’m having a heckuva time keeping up ith all the different bags of jelly beans that show up on store shelves. At the moment, there are three different open bags on the shelf and a fourth is waiting to be opened. And I haven’t even bought any Unicorn Jelly Beans yet!

Is it Possible for Jelly Beans to be Too Sweet?

Peeps Jelly Beans

Peeps jelly beans

Easter is fast approaching, and that means that jellybean season is upon us. Heck, candy companies are sending our press releases about their new varieties of beans, believe it or not! I know that because one of them came across my email not long ago. According to JustBorn, Inc., the latest thing in teeny little candy beans is Peeps Jelly Beans! And they’re not kidding: a visit to my local Kroger turned up a display of the little guys, so I was duty-bound to report back to my loyal readers. You know who you are, Mom…

Right up front, Peeps beans are different; at least when it comes to packaging. Like the somewhat cloying marshmallow birdies of the same name, Peeps Jelly Beans come in four flavors: lemon, strawberry, blueberry, and marshmallow. Also like the birdies, their packaging doesn’t mix flavors; so I bought a bag each of blueberry/marshmallow and strawberry/marshmallow. At about three bucks for ten ounces, they’re fairly expensive.

Pectin Instead of Corn Starch: So What?

Russell Stover Pectin Jelly Beans

Weirdos like me who just about live on jelly beans (not really – I also eat burritos) know we’re eating something that’s mostly sugar. It’s the other ingredients that set the various beans apart. While that’s usually a matter of flavor, there’s also a school of jelly-bean creation that calls for a slightly different gelling agent: pectin. The jelly in most beans turns from sugary glop into gel because of the addition of corn starch, but a few brands of beans use pectin instead – just like my mom used when making her own jam and jelly.

The easiest brand of pectin-based beans to find is Russell Stover Pectin Jelly Beans (a premium bean, according to the package). The beans are the traditional size and shape; none of that mini business practiced by the gourmet brands. Another difference is that Russ sticks to the traditional flavors. There’s no buttered popcorn, no banana cream pie, just seven fruit flavors like the Brach’s I bought as a kid.

Not all that Good, but Plenty of 'Em

Wiley Wallaby Outback Beans (Red)

Who was I to know that when Wiley Wallaby called this candy Australian Style Outback Beans (with chewy red centers) that they didn’t mean they were jelly beans? I mean, really: the picture of candy on the package sure looks like jelly beans!

All it took was one little taste, though, and I recognized the little fakes for exactly what they are: the USA’s oldest candy, Good & Plenty, reinvented. By “reinvented” I mean that the center is red licorice… errr, “liquorice,” according to Wikipedia… instead of black, with a candy coating in green, yellow, and orange instead of pink and white. Thank heavens the center is red instead of black, or I might have just given them the ol’ heave-ho.

The Taste of SweeTarts Without the Tart

Wonka Laffy Taffy Jelly Beans

Every year around Easter the shelves of my local stores start loading up with different varieties of jelly beans. Besides the usual gourmet stuff (JellyBelly, Gimble’s) and the peg bags that I buy in an emergency, I start seeing other names on the bags; especially names of other familiar candies. Last year it was Jolly Rancher and Starburst, this year for the first time I found “Laffy Taffy flavored Jelly Beans.” So I bought a bag…

The classic candy Laffy Taffy comes from Wonka; the same people who give you SweeTarts. The company’s actually a division of Nestle®. This brand of beans’ relationship to SweeTarts came as no surprise to me once I’d tasted a few… Laffy Taffy jelly beans come in just four flavors (banana, grape, cherry and apple); in pale pastel colors that correspond to their flavors (yellow, lavender, pink, and green). Texturally, the candy shell bears a striking resemblance to the texture of the company’s SweeTarts, and – except for grape, which to my knowledge is unknown in SweeTarts – pretty much has the same flavor. The chief difference is that the beans aren’t as tart.

The flavor is all in the shell, which surrounds a mushy off-white sugary gel – the gel is merely a neutral sweet flavor. The shell is crumbly and a little grainy. As for any resemblance to Laffy Taffy flavors, I can’t comment – I haven’t eaten the stuff in decades.

When it comes to jelly beans, I find the texture of this batch lacking. The gel center is too soft and mushy, the candy shell too crumbly. The flavors are slightly better, though limiting them to just four makes a 14-ounce bag rather cloying (for the record, I paid $2.50 for this bag). At least they don’t include licorice…

All told, this is not a brand I’ll seek out next year.

copyright © 2017 scmrak

I Wunder if Anyone Knows what “Unique” Means Anymore

Brach’s Wunder Beans Jelly Beans

The packaging claims “Jelly Beans in 24 Unique Flavors” – and now they’re claiming 25 instead. Whichever the count, I’m not so certain that blue berry, cinnamon, grape, lemon… etc. can be considered “unique” flavors today, or even a generation ago for that matter. Interestingly enough, the 25-flavor variety includes such flavors as “wild blueberry,” “hot cinnamon,” “grape lightening [sic]” and “lemonade”; which I rather suspect are simply the more common flavors renamed. Whatever you think of marketing language and the word “unique,” through, the simple truth is that Brach’s Wunder Beans aren’t truly “wunderful.”

I say that because although they emulate the small size of higher-end gourmet beans and incorporate some more esoteric flavors, Brach’s beans are still heavily flavored candy shells around a neutral-flavored whitish gel center. That differs from true gourmet beans, in which the flavor goes all the way through. Sigh.