Jelly Beans the Old-Fashioned Way (Sort of...)

Great Value Jelly Beans (Walmart)

Not every jelly bean out there is “gourmet.” Heck, just a few decades ago, there was no such thing as a “gourmet jelly bean” (Jelly Belly® jelly beans are only about 50 years old and didn’t hit mainstream until during the Reagan presidency, 1980-88). About the only national brands in olden days were Brachs and Toms, and their beans were very little like what you get today – of course, they were also only about 49¢ a pound, too…

You can still buy beans like those – and so I did, just a few days ago. I paid one American dollar for some Great Value Jelly Beans at that paragon of American dollars, Walmart (for what it's worth, the brand's beans are made in Mexico). A bag holds ten ounces of what is basically pure sugar, in eight colors, most of them the old-fashioned size; about a centimeter long.. You’ll note that I said eight colors, not eight flavors. As far as I can tell, most of the ones that aren’t licorice are basically indistinguishable. But here goes, anyway:

White: this has a pineapple (I think) flavor, by which I mean it’s faintly pineapple-flavored. Black: it’s licorice, of course – and fairly strongly so. Purple: it is apparently grape, though that’s tough to tell. Orange: orange-like. Pink: I have no idea what flavor this is supposed to be. Red: ummm… nope; maybe a bit on the cherry end of the spectrum. Green: well, at least it’s not watermelon; and might have a faintly lime flavor. Yellow: if you try really, really hard you can detect a faint lemony flavor. But you have to try really, really hard!

All seven colors are confined to the semi-hard candy shell; the interior of all of them is the same somewhat mushy gel of a translucent off-white color. All eight of the colors, with the possible exception of licorice, are teeth-hurtingly sweet.

Overall, this is a prime example of getting pretty much what you pay for: if it’s quantity you want and not quality, go for it – me, I’ll hold out for something with better flavor. These earn a not-so-impressive two stars from me; the sort of beans I’d only buy if I couldn’t find anything else anywhere.

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